I recently received this e-mail from Patience, describing her experience as a petite woman:
I'm a 28 year old black female; 5ft, 106. I mentioned my ethnicity because it has played a role in my life as relates to petiteness. As a youth, it was first believed I would be tall! Then one day I recall my mother (5'7"ish) mentioning that she thought I might be "petite." I had no idea what that meant and it was tough for her to explain. By the time I was 16, and hadn't grown for four years, I became very clear on what petite meant.
At that age, I really suffered alot. I felt like I wasn't "growing up"; there were other girls who were, remarkably, smaller than I, but that wasn't the majority. I did the cutting, the journaling, all of that. My issue was exacerbated by the fact that in the black community, it's all about being "thick" - big butt, big legs, etc. Well, my legs actually are slightly larger than average, and longer, but I was not "thick; this mentality is so entrenched that anyone who isn't that size is seen as an anomaly. Ever listened to that comedian Mo'Nique? The attitude she has toward thin women pretty much encapsulates this mentality. So I got to feel like I wasn't "a real black girl."
Anywho, by about college I'd had a few dawnings. For one, I don't mind saying I came out as a lesbian, and began realizing that if I could see a variety of women as attractive, others could too, and that meant I could be within the real of cuteness. I also realized at that point that there was a group of people who considered petites a commodityfetish. Go figure.
Fastforward to now. Being an Aquarian, I'm known for my forward style and for treating my outfits like art. I'm able to find casual street clothes easily at places like Urban Outfitters; vintage stores also are awesome because people were smaller then. Guess is fab, their smalls are CRAZY small lol. For work: I enjoy Tahari suits (their petites are sooooo nice) used to like Petite Sophisticate and have some luck with the Macy's petites in general.
All in all, I love being petite. I feel extra dainty and girlie and special. I love that I can ball up and get into small spaces. One thing that I HATE HATE HATE though: There remains this attitude that it's ok to hate on small people.
I am SO annoyed with this anti-skinny-model thing - yeah, some of those girls need help, but don't assume every woman who's small is "troubled." I hate the presumption that everyone in America is fat - as reflected in the decrease of XS sizes and the increase in XXXLs. I also get annoyed with vanity sizing, don't they ever realize that there are people who really DO need a size 1? What are we going to do in 10 years? Perhaps one of my most annoying moments came a few months ago when I tried to get some El Cheapo shoes from Payless (trust me, that is NOT a place I frequent).
Well, I wear a 6 on average, far from an excessively small shoe. So I'm searching and searching and I finally see the size I need -- in the girls section!!!! I can't believe that's what the world has come to.
Mine is not a sad short story (not anymore) but more one of annoyance. I really wish people would stop assuming that everyone is big. Not average sized - BIG. It's just not the case.
What do you think of Patience's story? Can you relate to her? Does your culture's beauty myth lean more towards petiteness or non-petiteness?
